What Are They Thinking About?
Eminent cognitive scientist, Daniel Willingham, is responsible for one of my favourite quotes in education. "Memory is the residue of thought." His argument is that "memory is not a product of what you want to remember or what you try to remember, it's a product of what you think about."(1) Therefore, you should tailor your work with children to focus on what you want them to think about, because that will be what they will tend to remember. This has important ramifications for how you work with a child who needs behaviour modification.
When working with a child who is heightened, it is important for the staff member to realise that the child's cognitive load is overwhelming. By remaining calm and quiet, you can reduce some of this load. By reflecting on and validating their feelings, you can help foster a connection that helps them feel heard. This process keeps the focus on lessening rather than heightening a behaviour and provides greater opportunity for teaching a student how to behave effectively in given situations. The child is left to think about how they can change a behaviour in the future.
Alternatively, a staff member can decide to dress down a student, perhaps loudly, without listening to an explanation. The child goes away thinking that this staff member is unfair and potentially doesn't like them. Another possibility is that the staff member does nothing and the child thinks that this staff member doesn't care and won't do anything. Both of these scenarios might work for the staff member, but the student is left to think about the behaviour of the staff member and not their own behaviour. The residue of that thought is, "they don't care."
If we are to impact and change the behaviour of a student, we want to ensure that we leave them thinking about something that will change their behaviour and create some form of autonomy. By touching base with that student later, we leave them with the thought that we care and we are interested in their improvement. As a result, the next interaction we have should be easier and have a greater element of trust that we can then build on. By working calmly, we can support the student and also keep ourselves regulated and happier.
Which residue of thought do you want to leave your students with?
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